(i didn't get a scan of this, and the editor[s] changed "kountry" to "country" and capitalized the "i" in the last sentence)

August 7, 2010

Editor, The Petal News:

            Well, count me as outraged about this newspaper in its August 5 edition daring to bestow upon the city of Petal the title “Friendly City” again.

            Perhaps if we wish to learn and even grow as a city, we should first go to the Petal Police Department and see what we can learn from what appears to be some form of press release in its Thursday edition.  Here it is:

            “In other action, the board approved the demotion of a sergeant with the Petal Police Department to first class patrol officer and suspended him for three days without pay.  A second officer also was suspended for three days without pay, Marx said.’

            Wait a minute.  Suspended without pay?  That’s a serious offense, those of you who are without a working knowledge of politics in the police department.

            I don’t think I want them interacting with the teenage friends of my wife’s son.  I know I don’t wanna be around them without cause.

            So why don’t we know their names?  Yes, I’m sure there are “neighbors” who wish my interaction with the police department were life with menial labor.  No conjugal visits even. 

            Some might say “How dare he say ‘we’ like that?!”  Well, it makes me want to vomit, this “Friendly City” label “we” have allowed (yes, we actually allow the media in this kountry to follow the many paths of what our universities are calling “social responsibility” instead of allowing the press to be free to pursue the truth), yes we allow the local newspaper to label us such.

            I bet if we knew the offense we would want to know the names.  But enough of that.

            If “we” want to be “the Friendly City” we should legalize marijuana. 

            What does this city council do to make our borders more open to those who pursue the truth?  They make spice illegal.  What a joke!

            Yeah, just call me outraged.  Outraged at a lot of stuff, like the Copenhagen company ripping off good enough customers who don’t deserve it, the big chicken farms feeding baby chicks some kind of steroid so that they can slaughter them when they’re forty-two days old, the list does go on.

            Yeah, the chicken slaughterers rape the people who raise the chicks and you should see what is expected of the illegal immigrants they hire on purpose mostly.

            Oh, well.  May i just say “God don’t bless Petal please”?

Sincerely,

Joel Parker