A Journal: Part 3

Be an example in a world where: There is none righteous . . .

. . . . . Here is Charles Spurgeon( noted protestant preacher of nineteenth century)'s Morning And Evening devotional for June 27 (and naturally i read the partial verse and said to myself "I'm right to stick around this area." I'm posting it in its entirety in hopes that some will carefully read it in the context of, say, my second[ and-hopefully-last] sermon.):

"Only ye shall not go very far away."
                                                   --Exodus 8:28
. . . . . This is a crafty word from the lip of the arch-tyrant  Pharaoh. If the poor bondaged Israelites must needs go out of Egypt, then he bargains with them that it shall not be very far away; not too far for them to escape the terror of his arms, and the observation of his spies. After the same fashion, the world loves not the non-conformity of nonconformity, or the dissidence of dissent, it would have us be more charitable and not carry matters with too severe a hand. Death to the world, and burial with Christ, are experiences which carnal minds treat with ridicule, and hence the ordinance which sets them forth is almost universally neglected, and even contemned( ridiculed). Worldly wisdom recommends the path of compromise, and talks of "moderation." According to this carnal policy, purity is admitted to be very desirable, but we are warned against being too precise; truth is of course to be followed, but error is not to be severely denounced. "Yes," says the world, "be spiritually minded by all means, but do not deny yourself a little gay society, an occasional ball, and a Christmas visit to a theatre. What's the good of crying down a thing when it is so fashionable, and everybody does it?" Multitudes of professors yield to this cunning advice, to their own eternal ruin. If we would follow the Lord wholly, we must go right away into the wilderness of separation, and leave the Egypt of the carnal world behind us. We must leave its maxims, its pleasures, and its religion too, and go far away to the place where the Lord calls His sanctified ones. When the town is on fire, our house cannot be too far from the flames. When the plague is abroad, a man cannot be too far from its haunts. The further from a viper the better, and the further from worldly conformity the better. To all true believers let the trumpet-call be sounded, "Come ye out from among them, be ye separate." ( this bit here from my second [and hopefully last] sermon echos Spurgeon's concerns [albeit in a sarcastic manner] I think)

re: being an example to the world, more in a moment. first a hand-out, my Bible-search for one day this week:

. . . . . howboutit? ( my Zen Bible search came up with verse 11 at the top of the page but when i changed the font and arranged a bigger note it turned into what you see[?]: Grace is the divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in the life of one who has received it); my note on verse 17 might better read "we don't often see the reflection of grace in the life of those who profess to have received (the gift of) grace".

          Now consider the reflection of the divine influence in one's life, Spurgeon's devotion above, and this Newsweek image (read "ego" all caps) stuff: Paul Wilson (?) is gonna get another SUV, despite environmental concerns, "mostly because it looks cool". "There's a certain image I want to convey," Newsweek reported Emily McCary (?) saying, "and minivans will never be cool." While others starve.

. . . . . here's an image-conscious southern landowner (maybe a few minutes from worshipping his belly): note the careful attention to genteel image, the hat, the shades, the gloves (so as not to touch a sharecropper perhaps), and the plain t-shirt (for the much-sought-after 'common touch'):
. . . . . the landLORD(yep) is "in insurance" one (wud-be) neighbor said, insurance for the first landlord (who yelled at me near as much as he talked to me) i'm thinkin'. He hangs around here a lot from time to time, told me he wanted to smash my head once. It's maybe been a conspiracy to out me from the get-go. Just lucky I snuck in under the radar (read five hundred cash) or I might have had nowhere to lay my head for a few years. Not around here, which is where i might have stuck.

. . . . . Anyway, Lao Tsu said

Be an example to the world.
Being an example to the world,
Ever true and unwavering,
Return to the infinite.

. . . . . So in that spirit I continue with my grocery list. I think this is very appropriate given the focus of my web site and especially the fact that groceries are such a difficult part of so many's lifestyle. Take fast food as an example. Fast food to some people might be eating liver warm from the body of prey they've "taken" on a successful hunt. To others it's a box of chicken from Hardee's. Went there just a day or two after my grocery run of the 13th because I noticed chicken is back on the menu. Eight pieces and four biscuits for $6.41 maybe. Managed to make four meals with it (though i added salads and like delights). Also bought a snow-cone to take pictures of a crepe myrtle in the parking lot of the stand. Picked up a gallon of milk and think i got a (small) candy bar during a gas purchase too. Might be all the other food. without further ado (well, should mention if you noticed the huge deal on lettuce last time i'm thinking it was a genetic experiment gone awry: as close to cabbage as lettuce. [i ate it all.]) el list (just noticed i was charged for Vidalia's but didn't get'em):

. . . . . Oh yeah, i should mention that seldom do i go this long and not buy a can of something. Just ended up with a lot (praise the Lord[ as the saying goes]) . Anybody hungry? Take a gander at this image below: (think i mentioned something about a can like this recently, a gourmet( belly/self worshipper) saying fruit cocktail is beneath him/her and i said also how some people walking the earth today would probably be willing to fight violently for a can; reminds me that opening a can of lima beans the other day made me ravenous; really like 'em and don't spring for 'em very often; saw that they were baby limas and it made me wanna cry):

. . . . . Oh yeah, turned down an op' at a catered meal thrown by some of my (glad-i'm-not-part-of-it-really [-is-their-attitude]) family. When i opened the Bible to "He came unto his own, and his own received him not" (see Bible image this page) it struck me I'm supposed to mention this. Like I came back to this area in need of a job and a little support (twice actually) and I got pushed down and walked over and back-stabbed too especially by one of my blood kin as the saying goes. And another betrayed me so badly I cut ties to (1) quit condoning/submitting to/permitting their hypocrisy and (2) do what they wanted me to do, i.e., quit being even a small quasi-member of the family.

. . . . . Oh yeah, to those who would call me a hypocrite for re-establishing ties with 'dad' (if I ever write my autobiography [cough, cough] I plan on putting for an epigram at the front of the book Proverb 29:15 ["The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."] and perhaps a short tale or two of my childhood [maybe how jealous i was of my older brother that he somehow knew how to score baseball games and could tell car makes and models apart (though i scored better on standardized tests [read 'well-read and remembering' plus gifted at math]), and the fact that when i was maybe a senior in high school and completely without direction and dad and i went to Auburn to visit my older brother and i thought nothing of the fact that dad said not a word to me all the hours to Auburn or all the way back except "what do you want from the menu?" and maybe another question because that was how he very nearly always had been when we were alone: silent] and a brief account of my older brother's resume [with accent mark (well-rounded and disciplined enough to get a full scholarship to college, over-achiever, White House Fellow, very successful consultant and now high-level exec with TRW)]), I will say only that I feel sorry for him.

. . . . . There's also the fact that it is people believing that dear old dad did this (another factor for the public to consider: I remember being maybe six years old and wanting him to whip me because I'd gotten a weird drift [like crying once as he was whipping my older brother and wud-be younger brother came up and asked me why I was crying ("he's not whippin' you")] and only much later i began to think maybe i was crying not from empathy but because he wasn't whippin' me) who actually made him do it. Attention is energy. (Here is something about general sin.) And the fact that this was apparently a cold-blooded decades-long experiment doesn't make him any more guilty. Admittedly I try not to dwell on it. If he had raised me and my older brother alike then I wouldn't be at all surprised if I was a successful professional with no clue about absolutes and reality. And that wasn't the plan. (As in God's Plan huh?)

. . . . . My doctor probably wants me to keep going. (I think i'm under compulsion again, and can only hope it's Spirit rather than ordinary mind [2014 note:  see what a mad dream it was years ago when i wrote "ordinary mind is not much of a problem (to me)"?].) In the interests of convincing anyone who's reading this that my approach is the correct one (just bought an earlier paperback version of the Tao [like the copy i sent ronnie reagan when he was inaugurated] even though i have a paperback copy of the same translation: another violation of conservation of energy laws; anyway, on the back it says in part:

Accept what is in front of you without wanting the situation to be other than it is. Study the natural order of things and work with it . . . In the clarity of a still and open mind, truth will be reflected. We will come to appreciate the original meaning of the word "understand," which means "to stand under." We serve whatever or whoever stands before us, without any thought for ourselves. Te__which may be translated as "virtue" or "strength"__lies always in Tao, or "natural law." In other words: Simply be.

) let me add that I feel like my subconscious has been dealt with and what I'm dealing with now is a lot of other people's subconscious. Bob Dylan had it right when he told Paul McCartney about the nature of truth involving seven levels of consciousness. Back in the early 80s I started telling people of my seventies efforts to love everybody in the world like I love myself, and the levels of humanity involved. Of course I was laughed at. (I was the night busboy at Shoney's.)

. . . . . My second-best job was carpentering (and had several stints at that). I had been run off from a job site (and job; loudly shouted away from a lawn sprinkler system installation which I was doing correctly) by an erstwhile family member who did it in like a September in front of his entire crew (which he needed to mostly get to leave rather than fire because of workers' comp; my experience probably made this annual task much easier because everybody saw how much undeserved abuse he was willing to heap on me [his own brother! they probably said, not realizing the truth]; I heard at the Thanksgivings and Christmases that I still [incredibly enough huh?] continued to attend that he was forced to send somebody with sprinklers and hoses to water that lawn as long as the lady lived there because he wouldn't allow me to do it right [more reason for the crew to say 'forget workers' comp, it ain't worth it' since they saw what went down) despite the fact that i was living with my mother again who was suffering the proverbial lengthy illness and who more than anything (for me) wanted to see me being successful at a job. Any job. Nothing wrong with lawn maintenance if you can pay your bills ya know. (I can hear him now, telling anybody who'd listen how much it hurt him to have to fire me, and it was a real sacrifice doing that to such a good, rich customer, but he wanted people to know how much it hurt him. And there's always been something a little wrong with joel ya know. A real misfit; creeps me out jus' bein' around him. Whatever.)

. . . . . Sadly this was not the first or the last time I allowed wudbe bruthr to treat me like this (the last time was after my mom died and i was run out of the house and showed up a couple of weeks later at daybreak at the landscaping parking lot, wanting nothing but to die but to slave some more was an acceptable alternative. Forgettaboutit! [Here, maybe this guy (who also had a huge grudge and was rich and connected enough to bribe a federal judge [who was impeached, imprisoned, and disbarred as I recall]) can convince you that you should GET OUTTA TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!! is what happened.]). And no, I didn't go, not for years. And yeah, I kept going to Thanksgiving dinner for years, and every time I saw him I hoped he'd changed (but he was actually talking about what an "idiot" I was to keep being the meekest of men!).

. . . . . I really don't like tale-carriers (said on the 'Net the other day that gossip killed Jesus), and know that's exactly what I'm doing. But as I think I mentioned, I believe my convincing others that I basically speak the truth, the real truth, and the whole truth (2014 note:  i give up on full discloser) might be of shall i say critical importance in the universe. Not to mention that my former family schmooz with champs, and believe me when I say I've been the talk of the town, that's part of the equation too; knowing it was former family tellin' the tallest tales (I'm sure) makes this maybe a requirement I've been loathe to address. (Ah, the source of the compulsion: I need to do this to counteract the lies for the enlightenment of others.:) For an example, I've claimed Isaiah 51:23 before; read it again and consider if what I've just said might deserve such mention: "But I will put (the cup . . . of my fury) into the hand of them that afflict thee; which have said to thy soul, Bow down, that we may go over: and thou hast laid thy body as the ground, and as the street, to them that went over."

          . . .And yeah, I've dealt with all of this betrayal already. My angels approach really works. (Here's an example if you're new here.) And I don't guess I've changed much, just my approach. When I encounter judgment, that's how I've started responding. Not without much prayer I think I've mentioned (over and over). Oh mama, can this really be the end? To be stuck inside a Mobile, with the Memphis blues again? The people who wrecked my life way back when, say, are for the most part kind of immune. I never asked God to pay them back for their sins against me. I have no trouble loving everybody on the earth. (Well, when I tune in to somebody else's hatred for me, I know I reflect it; I just have to adjust the rheostat, it's one of the continuum's Stephen Gaskins taught about.)

. . . . . The things that have been done to me since I came back here in '97 I have hoped that God would repay and, as I've mentioned, I've had some complaints. (I've got karma to burn, Dylan said way back when. Love your enemies and heap coals of fire on their heads the Bible says.) Well, actually I guess I should mention that dad told me his wife didn't want me coming to their woodworking shop three times a week, an hour or two each day, for therapy. I was making six chairs and gonna give them one for the use of the shop (and I didn't get in their way; they weren't using it much then). Maybe they didn't like the way the chairs were coming along. Whatever. (2021 note:  i was hardly hiding my marijuana smoking)  Anyway I just wrote that off along with my whole life. Maybe as an example. Of something. The mind of Christ? It's supposed to be in every Christian. And a lot of Christians don't just profess, they know, you know. And I don't doubt some of my former family need badly to get right with God because more and more I'm thinking (trying to "take heed" of the light too) that they will taste of the cup of His fury (Isaiah 51:22 e.g.) if they don't.

. . . . . As a matter of fact, for everybody, let me put Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotion for the Fourth of July right here for your prayerful contemplation:

"Sanctify them through Thy truth."
                                                    --John 17:17
. . .   Sanctification begins in regeneration. The Spirit of God  infuses into
man that new living principle by which he becomes "a new creature" in Christ Jesus. This work, which begins in the new birth, is carried on in two ways--mortification, whereby the lusts of the flesh are subdued and kept under; and vivification, by which the life which God has put within us is made to be a well of water springing up unto everlasting life. This is
carried on every day in what is called "perseverance," by which the
Christian is preserved and continued in a gracious state, and is made to
abound in good works unto the praise and glory of God; and it culminates or comes to perfection, in "glory," when the soul, being thoroughly purged, is caught up to dwell with holy beings at the right hand of the Majesty on high. But while the Spirit of God is thus the author of sanctification, yet there is a visible agency employed which must not be forgotten. "Sanctify them," said Jesus, "through thy truth: thy word is truth." The passages of Scripture which prove that the instrument of our sanctification is the Word of God are very many. The Spirit of God brings to our minds the precepts and doctrines of truth, and applies them with power. These are heard in the ear, and being received in the heart, they work in us to will and to do of God's good pleasure. The truth is the sanctifier, and if we do not hear or read the truth, we shall not grow in sanctification. We only progress in sound living as we progress in sound understanding. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Do not say of any error, "It is a mere matter of opinion." No man indulges an error of judgment, without sooner or later tolerating an error in practice. Hold fast the truth, for by so holding the truth shall you be sanctified by the Spirit of God.
==========================================================
 "He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his
soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully."
                                                    --Psalm 24:4
. . .   Outward practical holiness is a very precious mark of grace.  It is to be feared that many professors have perverted the doctrine of justification by faith in such a way as to treat good works with contempt; if so, they will receive everlasting contempt at the last great day. If our hands are not clean, let us wash them in Jesus' precious blood, and so let us lift up pure hands unto God. But "clean hands" will not suffice, unless they are connected with "a pure heart." True religion is heart-work. We may wash the outside of the cup and the platter as long as we please, but if the inward parts be filthy, we are filthy altogether in the sight of God, for our hearts are more truly ourselves than our hands are; the very life of our being lies in the inner nature, and hence the imperative need of purity within. The pure in heart shall see God, all others are but blind bats.
   . . .The man who is born for heaven "hath not lifted up his soul  unto
vanity." All men have their joys, by which their souls are lifted up; the
worldling lifts up his soul in carnal delights, which are mere empty
vanities; but the saint loves more substantial things; like Jehoshaphat, he
is lifted up in the ways of the Lord. He who is content with husks, will be
reckoned with the swine. Does the world satisfy thee? Then thou hast thy
reward and portion in this life; make much of it, for thou shalt know no
other joy.
. . .   "Nor sworn deceitfully." The saints are men of honour  still. The
Christian man's word is his only oath; but that is as good as twenty oaths
of other men. False speaking will shut any man out of heaven, for a liar
shall not enter into God's house, whatever may be his professions or doings.
        Reader, does the text before us condemn thee, or dost thou hope to ascend into the hill of the Lord?

. . . . . Thinking about how the very few people I interact with (light conversation is about as good as it gets to tell the truth, and hey, it's a blessing to be able to feel light on occasion; mostly my world is rather dark) treat me reminds me (hey, I am a pilgrim, and a stranger; and I ask for it I know, though sometimes I'm more than ready to lay down my weary tune) of the tee-shirt i mention on this page somewhere so here's an image:

. . . .Also the way I'm treated reminds me of Lao Tsu's observation that someone who has obtained (shall we say) awakening (?) . . . Is unconcerned with friends and enemies, With good and harm, with honor and disgrace. . . . .Yeah, the Tao Te Ching is somewhere I've been able to duck into for a long time for a long time. Sure do hate that my mental condition kind of precludes that. . . . .Here's a little more Lao Tsu: Those that know me are few; Those that abuse me are honored. Therefore the sage wears rough clothing and.holds the jewel in his heart. . . . In the pursuit of learning, every day something is.acquired. In the pursuit of Tao, every day something is. dropped. Less and less is done Until non-action is achieved. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.

. . . . . Just picked up Alan Watts' The Way of Zen and Zen opened it of course to "It is not quite the paradox which it seems to say that Zen training can begin only when it has been finished. For this is simply the basic Mahayana principal . . . that awakening is not truly attained unless it also implies the life of the Bodhisattva (check this out), the manifestation of the 'marvelous use' of the (world) for the benefit of all sentient beings.(emphasis mine)" Instead of 'world', Watts uses 'Void', similar to the Hindu belief that the material world is maya, or illusion, and, though he doesn't specifically say, his text leaves me little doubt that the "marvelous use" of the world's resources would basically involve taking from those who have too much and giving to those who do not have enough (to borrow from Lao Tsu's "The way of heaven. . ." [to say nothing of Jesus' "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven" which interestingly (to me) is just before His warning in Luke to "Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness."] Comparison of the Zen awakening to the Christian salvation experience is invited. (i've been meaning to put something else on the site about Jesus saying "Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world." [2014 note:  that afternoon devotion from Spurgeon really sobered me, probably because i am such a liar, and such a cheat; for me to overcome the world remains something of an obsession with me]).

. . . . . Speaking of "the life of the Bodhisattva", i'm not sure what kind of example i was to the world last weekend. Pasta primavera and salad $7.58, tip $3, for a huge did-din which included two big slices of garlic bread, crackers w/ salad, loaf of wheat bread and little tins of low-cholesterol butter on the table with water. Next day a low-fat blueberry muffin ($1.06) and coffee for breakfast, $3.25 burger for lunch + $1 for large coffee, $3.18 for 2 burgers and shake for din-din. Blew some fifty bucks on the side too. Glad I withdrew $40 from the bank Friday.

. . . . . Feel like in public I should always wear my tee-shirt that says "Play A Game Where There Are No Spectators, Only Witnesses". Kind of one of those been-stabbed -in-the-back by- people -who-act -like-they're -your-friend or-relative things that has really colored my world. Even people who might not say anything against me to their family and friends say, but really want me to lose this game (where there are only witnesses remember), put their energy into it, maybe their life (and others) on the line huh? And maybe without even knowing what they're doing.

. . . . . Also feel compelled to add that my biological dad I've been led to believe is/was named something Light, something I want to mention in the same sentence as opening my Bible (under compulsion [2014 note:  the fear remains, though perfect love casteth out fear, that it was pure ordinary mind that made me do it [which means anybody reading this huh?]) and reading some of John 1 while peaking on a psilocybin mushroom, amazed beyond belief, the words thankfully losing their meaning, and then watching as the words drifted up off the page and I put the Book down. (a digression: I believe it was the attention of ordinary mind which led to the fall of man as i have almost continuously maintained on this web site; I remain, of course, willing to accept responsibility for the whole sorry mess but if you believe that you've got no choice but to do as I say (and do) huh?])

. . . . . What it boils down to is people's attention as I've said over and over. Just looked up Matthew 12:30 and Luke 11:23 (He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.) and saw that I had listed "contradictory statements" in Luke 9:50 and Mark 9:40 (he that is not against us is for us). Well, of course I see that it was people who were convinced, for whatever reason(s), that Jesus was a sinner or worse ("this jerk can't work miracles; I have it on good authority he knew a woman in the Biblical sense and he's never married" e.g.) who were in fact evil. One problem: it's very easy to rationalize one way and actually believe (the heart is deceitful above all things remember) another way.

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