A Journal: Chapter 13

September 22, 1999 ************************************************

. . . . . Well, I guess I feel like talking. So hello, world. <small smile> I really feel persecuted but not beat down (just looked it up: 2 Corinthians 4:8-10: I am "troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed . . ." . No, I sure can't claim that one; I'll take Ecclesiastes 1:18: "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Yeah, that almost makes me feel better <small smile>.

. . . . . Okay, this being Chapter 13 I guess I'll make it big picture time. I mean, really big picture, so people with small and/or closed minds/hearts need to surf over to the Disney channel because the truth is pretty tough stuff. And it's so hard for you to bear (see John 16:12: "I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.") that mostly you'll briefly consider them and reject them out of hand. Try to remember that ordinary mind really is the enemy, and remember the Sermon on the Mount to validate it for yo'self.

. . . . . I was thinking (yep, I really was) just the other day that most people probably work just about as hard at denying the truth as I have worked at uncovering it, discovering it if you will. 'Cause the status quo is not about truth, it's basically about surviving. We deal with reality in interesting ways. For the most part, we accept that things are the way they are. That's it..

. . . . . I'm thinking southern Baptists are among the best at denial. The church whose sermons I've critiqued the most on this site continues to amaze me, in particular with the publication I still get (and read). Since I quit attending services (it was getting pretty heavy as you might imagine if you read my journal entries about some of my experiences [or maybe I'm just remembering things]) "The Baptist Record" has a new mission statement that's appeared on the front page of each weekly issue for years. It reads: "We will love God. We will love each other. We will learn and obey the word of God. We will commit our lives, our talents and resources to the task of telling as many as we can about the love of God in Christ Jesus." That's it. That's all. For years I've been wanting to write the editor and say it sounds to me like we're doing good at paying lip service. I just noticed the paragraph following this, and it's so appropriate I'm leaving it in. (It's from Chapter 7, which I loaded into this program to use as a template, huh.)

(Psalm 94:7 KJV) Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.
. . . . . Yeah, this is one of those churches where people need to be at a certain level of social and financial success to like, feel comfortable. Know what I mean? It's not written in the New Member Prospect brochures, ya know, but the quality of the membership (as well as the quality of the facilities) really stands out in my opinion. Nice clothes, nice cars, nice smiles, nice attitudes. Their eyes stand out with fatness; they have more than heart could wish. Actually these are pretty ordinary people (their minds, anyway) who can always wish for more.

. . . . . Hey, yeah, I'm being terrible. There are some wonderfully nice people there. As long as you don't step on their toes. Oops, there I go again. Okay, here's a petty example. A couple of issues ago there was a big article about day trading being no better than gambling at a casino. Like playing the stock market (pretty apt phrase, huh?) long term ain't gambling. That was where this desire to write a letter to the editor started fermenting I suppose. The article this week that got my goat was the one titled "Room to Grow" in the "Vision for Life" column. (Remember Isaiah's lament: "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Well, God won't be able to say these folks don't have a vision. Let's take a peek, taking it from the top: "Imagine no longer having to take your children to different buildings and then traveling elsewhere for your Sunday School class. Imagine finding an accessible parking place. Envision adding classes as need arises without looking in every nook and cranny for a space. . . . For years these projects were delayed while we were reducing the debt from our previous building campaign." And every year or so there's a membership drive where people bring their neighbors and the church (hopefully) gets more members so it can build more buildings and other lesser priorities in God's own work.

. . . . . Heard a tv preacher type the other week say something that many preachers have probably said: "I'm not here to fill this church, I'm here to fill this pulpit." Then paused and basked in the adoration of the congregation and his perception of how well he did just that. But (hey, could I be getting around to revealing one of these truths that nobody in the world is hip to but me?) the sad reality of churches is that most churches are built in homage as much to the people who stand in the pulpit as the God people profess with their lips to love and obey. And hey, here's a heavier truth: It's not so much that their hearts are far from Him; their hearts really do turn toward Him fairly regularly (maybe in the better cases). But what most people don't realize is (like I've been pointing out) their hearts are on this broad way, and their minds (reins remember) kind of pull their hearts head around to look for God, all the while meandering down the broad way to destruction.

. . . . . But let's jump to the meat and potatoes__these hors dookies (no idea how to spell that) aren't very satisfying. Like I've been saying in so many words for so long I'm sick of repeating myself, the Great Spirit of Love we call God is just that: a great spirit and those who would worship Him must do so in spirit and in truth. And the truth is ugly. First, an easy grip to get (if you're still reading) is to remember that there are human beings all around who are not sentient beings, but rather are angels. (I still haven't finished my study, but remember Paul saying about "such a one as is caught up into the third heaven . . . God knows.") Yeah, there's really no way to know how many sentient beings there are, but I've speculated for years about the possibilities, and it can help keep you sane ya know.

September 26, 1999 ************************************************

. . . . . Heard Charlies Stanley preaching on Revelation this morning and it was pretty disappointing. One of the verses he read was 21:3b (he read it all, but here's part of it): "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God." Charlie basically threw a lot of man's doctrine at us, which I consider (as followers of my [would-be] web site know) pap suitable for babes in The Word (read Revelation 19:9-16 if you haven't lately), i.e., very little harsh reality ('cause that's what it is folks).

. . . . . We need, of course, to look at everything with an eye to the past, the present, and the future, but ordinary mind doesn't even realize there's a third eye involved; it's always leaving something out. Let's look at 21:3 with all three eyes: First, the past: The tabernacle of God was with men in Exodus (just heard a sermon on it this morning and recall chapter 40?). Also we might say that the "new dispensation (which is actually merely mans' prattling)" involves a change: The tabernacle of God is not merely with men, but in them. ("Know ye not that the body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?") What people don't generally realize or accept is that the body is also the vessel of the devil of ordinary mind. In sentient beings of course. And yeah, there's a war involved. But that's kind of jumping to the present.

. . . . . God will dwell with men, John writes in the verse we're examining. Well, He's already done that. He visited Adam and changed it all. He came to live with us in the year that starts our calendar and the prophets of the Old Testament prophesied (remember? and yeah, sure I'm paraphrasing) the people would be His people, and He would be their God. So they slew him and hung him on a tree. That's the past. We really have no reason to believe the future will be any different. John called the pope the antiChrist (i think most people agree), and I think it was mostly because of the churches stance on the need to be continually forgiven for sins (radical, huh?) and the fact that the church was rich and the people poor. Huh? Well, yeah, and the church even started letting members buy heaven for friends and relatives who died not in state of grace (as far as people [who know so much] were concerned). Yeah, pay x dollars and be forgiven for y sin.

. . . . . The present, of course, as far as I'm concerned, is one in which God could be living among us as a man preparing to judge us. Pretty comforting to think I've been given assurance of heaven and Jesus called church people and well-to-do types a generation of vipers and to day we've got the answers in the form of the New Testament. Well, a quick glance back at the past shows that the Jews had the answers in the form of the Old Testament and they're the guys who ridiculed God and called Him "beside himself" and spit on Him and beat Him and nailed Him to a cross to die the death of a common criminal. And a quick glance at the present shows that nothing has changed in this vineyard except maybe, just maybe, things are coming to a head in the form of things getting worse and the keepers (that's us folks; sorry, but yeah, the truth is hard ["Truthful words are not beautiful," Lao Tsu wrote, "and beautiful words are not truthful."]

. . . . . "I want you to know how wonderful it is to have the assurance that you're going to see God in all His glory, face to face, and Jesus, and the Holy Ghost" is a close paraphrase to a line of Charlie Stanley's this morning. He spoke of assurance and peace and beautiful stuff. Never mentioned that delimiting beatitude "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." (Look back on the [wud-be] site for my little study of 'sanctification' and men's doctrine and Jesus' doctrine.) A quick glance at the past shows a Psalm beginning "The transgression of the wicked (is that they) saith within (their) heart, 'There is no fear of God before my eyes'." OT. The NT shows Jesus saying "Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

. . . . . Oh, let me give you some of the good news ('cause a blessing and a curse is what this is all about, huh? a horse can be a blessing but it's a big responsibility; Jesus used a lot of parables to tell us we need to take responsibility for His kingdom here on earth): We do indeed have the power to become sons of God. Our heart can overcome our mind if we direct it to do so and watch it carefully because, yeah, it is deceitful above all things. We can be perfect even as Jesus told us to be. But remember, we can't think if we're perfect because we realize in a rush of insight that there's nothing we can do to get to heaven and in that rush we have an out-of-body experience that delivers our spirit beyond the reach of our mind. (No Charlie, we won't know other people in heaven because we won't know ourselves because there is only HisSelf ya know.) Einstein said at the speed of light mass becomes energy and also there is no time.

. . . . . More bad news: There's a lot we can and will never know. ("Those who know are not learned," Lao Tsu wrote. "The learned do not know.") Like who's in charge and what came first and who is second. I mean, the man who can send our soul to hell is who Jesus said to fear, right? And that ain't the devil or the antiChrist, huh? So it would make sense that it's Him or the Holy Ghost or God Himself like in Revelation 21:3. And we figure He ain't gonna like what He sees and we figure it's gonna get hairy. And what if He dislikes what He sees so much that He decides He would rather spend an empty, black eternity in Hell than spend another day on this hell on earth (where the people who profess to believe in Him are the one's most likely to scorn Him if we are to learn anything from the past) or take all this scum to heaven with Him. And what if there just aren't enough believers to save every sentient being who professes to believe in a God who wants us to treat everybody like we want to be treated. (An aside:  Would you prefer to be taught a lesson that might lead you to something great, or be left in your ignorance?)

. . . . . Anyway, you get the drift. There's a lot we don't know, and it would probably be better for everybody if we never "accuse" anybody of being Jesus (which brings me back to the what came first thing:  I think people started it all with the attention is energy thing, but it could have been Jesus (more likely than some devil) but who knows? And what does it matter? Do we need to develop our common language of love for others (as in tend the vineyard) or is our self-interest enough to maintain the status quo (and everybody decide where humanity is heading; actually it might not be an either(heaven)/or(hell) thing for the great mass of sentient beings; it could of course be a start-over thing, but my search for truth hasn't found any more validity here than in the big ending [that could still be happy, even though the movie won't be big box-office given the tendencies of the public])? (took me five minutes to figure out i needed a question mark there; duhl)

. . . . . Preacher tonight had a 'satan' sermon; one point: anyone who doesn't know Jesus is controlled by the devil. Hey, how many ordinary mind encounters does it take for someone to realize if you're conformed to the world (church is a major conformity in my book, though its aim is good) you're controlled by ordinary mind. You're deluded by a conformed heart. Another point in sermon: Preacher at Springdale Baptist church said 'many churches are beds of satan worshippers who meet to "bless the flesh, press the flesh," provide for the flesh. Hey preacher, look at yourself and look at your church. (This is the guy who said the pulpit thing i just reported.) And the really interesting thing about this (may you live in interesting times is, again, an ancient Chinese curse) is that there are usually a couple of sermons per Sunday that I catch where the preacher says a whole lot of true things but him and I guess most of his congregation do not understand the truths of the various messages. Ain't that wild.

. . . . . Satan comes into the presence of god he makes accusations about god's people, and requests permission to attack us." from Job He asks permission of God.

. . . . . Maybe I'll post this tomorrow. LOL Think I'm gonna leave most of the rest of Chapter 7 for a review. Remember the test that's coming up. (Romans 14:12 ["So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God"] e.g.)

(Mal 3:5 KJV) And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.
. . . . . Now I ain't worried about the sorcerer part, and I've never been the boss of anybody, but all the rest of it (and yeah, I guess you could say I've tried to do magical things, which is one definition of a sorcerer, for that matter), I mean I walked by a guy just a couple of weeks ago with bucks in my pocket that I might should have given to him, 'cause he sure did strike me as a stranger. "There is no secret thing, which shall not be made known" or something like that. This world is a mess and I'd like to help straighten it out 'cause like I've been saying, it could be a big ol' fire and it might be a really beautiful rapture and I'm watching and praying. (I loved the Russian preacher from St. Petersburg who told his sister church here in Mississippi to "pray with one hand and work with the other" ['cause I'm sure he'd had a earful of how much we here in Amerika were praying for them there in Russia].)

(Mal 3:15 KJV) And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work wickedness are set up; yea, they that tempt God are even delivered.
. . . . . I've been reading this for a lot of years (thought it was in Isaiah) and wondering when the proud rich happy people would learn the truth of things, and have the tables turned, just like Jesus and the money-changers. And please remember 'wickedness' translates 'lawlessness' and Jesus said all the law which is based in the Old Testament.

(Mal 4:1 KJV) For, behold, the day cometh, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble: and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the LORD of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.
. . . . . Here's another of those table-turning verses.

(Acts 3:21 KJV) Whom the heaven must receive until the times of restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began.
. . . . . "The times of restitution of all things" might be upon us; so (according to the first part of the verse) if these are those times, Jesus might be back. (wowowow) That's the only place this word (restitution) appears in the New Testament (and it ain't in the Old Testament). That, to me and others, places added significance to it.
. . . . . Notice also, "the times of refreshing" in verse 19. I remember (for some reason I can remember where the car was on the highway even the second time I read Isaiah 28:12 [notice verse 16 too] which is the only place the Hebrew word for refreshing appears in the Bible) alluding to a real weird possibility in my would-be journal last year about this refreshing business.

(Acts 3:23 KJV) And it shall come to pass, that every soul, which will not hear that prophet, shall be destroyed from among the people.
. . . . . I'm including this verse because verse 21 tells us "all His holy prophets since the world began" have spoken of the restitution of all things, and anybody who says Jesus wasn't wanting the world's wealth to be redistributed is straining at gnats and swallowing camels.

October 1, 1999 ************************************************

. . . . . Well, I kind of glanced over this again and don't think I did a good job of getting across the only thing I wanted to try and get across these days, i.e., like C.S. Lewis wrote that Jesus did not leave us with the option of Him being anything other than God or the devil ("You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God.), I don't want people to have the option of thinking that I'm a fool or a lunatic. (2014 note:  Maybe i've changed my mind about this.  How does that verse go?  "Their prophet is a fool," or something like that [from Hosea 9 (another prophecy about today?): ⁷The days of visitation are come, the days of recompense are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.], and yes, i still sometimes think i might be a prophet.) For that reason I've started praying for people who treat me like a fool or a devil. Yeah, sometimes I read minds, and sometimes I have a living faith that lets things happen. To tell the truth, I have mixed emotions about being here now; on the one hand, I do have an abiding love for the lost sheep and feel like being here kind of precludes the wrath of God descending on this place and these people; on the other hand, I'm thinking that the sheep are angels and the wolves who've been slobbering around me, that the dogs of Psalms 22 have compassed me, and the way they're treating me will be recompensed them many times over and I'm happy to stick around so that they might dig their pit deeper. (2014 note:  "the spiritual man is mad"?) Mixed emotions.

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