A Journal: Chapter 3

January 29, 1997   *******************************************************

. . . . . In my Harper's Bible, when Jesus said (in Luke 9:60) "Let the dead bury the dead" to the man who wanted to bury his dad before he started the journey, it kind of staggered me. Can you imagine? In a margin I wrote "a moment when awareness of the present overrode hope for the future?" Not broken, but surely disappointed at many turns, maybe Jesus was (when alone with God) a man of constant sorrow. (One of my major contentions remains that Jesus was a man; people who avow otherwise are either indoctrinated in man's doctrine [see Matthew 15:9 and Mark 7:7] or close-minded [though qualifying for the first makes the second redundant]. That He was God's Son is another matter entirely.)

. . . . . Yesterday I had to go do some medical stuff; on the way, listening to Dylan and the Band live, I wept (again); when I saw my therapist I told him Mary Ann was worried about me, and I was too. Listening to the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band prophesy (in Will the Circle Be Unbroken Volume II) that there won't be any starving children in the year 2000, I just broke down and sobbed and sobbed. (A thought just occurred to me: perhaps my [such-as-it-is] reputation stems in part from my understanding people; I've noticed I seem to (try to?) be funny around funny people, I seem to be a jerk around jerky people, etc. In fact, when I'm around just one person or two, sometimes I don't feel depressed like I do when I'm alone or around people in general.)

. . . . . Re-read Ezekiel 9 and 10 for our devotion this morning; especially noted chapter 9:10. Hebrews 11 was the (unusually long) scripture reference for the (Charles Stanley) In Touch daily (except for weekends ?) devotion guide. I read chapter 12, verses 1 & 2, to reach a good stopping (and considering) place. In our (Charles Haddon Spurgeon) Morning and Evening devotion guide, his partial verse reference took us to II Corinthians 4:18, which cried out for verse 17 to be included:

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us
a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things
which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal;
but the things which are not seen are eternal.

. . . . . As I was reading the Harper's, I continued reading selected (marked) verses in chapter 5: "For we walk by faith, not by sight: (this is one of my mantras, since leaning not to your own understanding certainly can appear foolish and blind to ordinary mind) . . . For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad." Perhaps some have noticed I only use the King James translation; I think we have seven King James' and one other version here. I do like it( the KJV).

. . . . . At the kids' Sunday school Sunday, we started off playing with Play Dough (c). One of the more undisciplined children said he was making a snake, so I took the opportunity for a lesson and said something like, "Did y'all know snakes used to have legs?" They said no, so I continued: "Yes, snakes used to have legs, but God got angry at them and said, 'From now on, you'll have to crawl on your belly in the dust.'" I had their attention now; 'why did God get mad?', they wanted to know. "Because the snake lied to Adam and Eve." People came in then and that was pretty much the end of that. I mention this because it is an excellent story for children and those not able to bear the truth (see I Corinthians 3:2, Hebrews 5:11-14, I Peter 2:1-17).

. . . . . I just copied a note I was writing for my 'promises' notes in Exodus 34:28 and thought I'd post it here too: 1/29/97 In my Harper's Bible, I keep the bookmark at Matthew 22 and have strongly highlighted verses 37-40. (On what is the facing page in my Bible, I have highlighted verse 29.) I think I understand it now: Verse 37, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind", is the way for individuals to see God; verse 39, "...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself", is the way for us collectively to see God.  (2014 note:  now i say the second great commandment (as Jesus put it) is an easier way for out limited intellects to follow the first commandment [since we know so little of God it can make it hard to love Him like that])

. . . . . I'm just perusing the Bible, and wondering what the 'authorities' are making now of Matthew 24:15( "When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:)"). (I imagine conventional wisdom is that the abomination of desolation is the anti-Christ; the holy place I'm not sure about; I would like to get some feedback on this, even from the ever-suspect commentaries, which I've left behind at my last home.)

January 31***************************************************************

. . . . . "They hate him that rebuketh in the gate, and they abhor him that speaketh uprightly." Amos 5:10

. . . . . I've discovered myself in Amos some the last few days; realized this morning (it's 1:30 pm now) that I have been neglecting my study of Romans, and hope to get back there. I think that's where this journal pretty much started. But...Amos: yesterday maybe I read verse 13 (in chapter 5) and it gave me pause. The prudent shall keep silence in that time. Ah well, I decided, I've been professing to be a fool for Christ, and so be it.

. . . . . In the BibleNotes I'm working on now, I put a note on chapter 6 verse 12: "Shall horses run upon the rock?" I kind of thought about war horses breeding in the kountry( an obtuse reference to Lao Tsu); and how helpless war machines are trying to run on the solid foundation of God's word; talk about last resorts, that's war. (I naturally did get some response from my January 28th entry, talking about targeting rich people who have been identified as stiff-necked: "Are you advocating violence?" Not advocating it exactly, I responded, but reacting to it. (Specifically the spiritual violence we inflict by serving our system of ordinary mind, of "common sense". In John 8:34 Jesus told believers "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.") Today we read Ezekiel 12 [and 13] for part of our devotion; verse 19 says in part, "They shall eat their bread with carefulness, and drink their water with astonishment...because of the violence of all them...")

. . . . . Last night I decided that for all my negativity about current theological dogma and its attendant commentaries, it has been a long time since I did more than look up the odd verse now and again. So I picked up, hopefully appropriately, H.A. Ironside's "Romans" commentary, which had its twenty-sixth printing in 1984. With what might be all due respect, it appears to be pablum suitable for spoon-feeding infants and no other life form. There's some truth there, but buried deeper than in God's word; maybe some truth is there only because it's God's word being discussed. I don't think I've ever encountered an overview I didn't like; until last night that is. His "simple outline" in chapter 1 has three divisions. Here's one of them: "Division II. Dispensational. Chaps. 9-11: The Righteousness of God Harmonized with his Dispensational Ways. Subdivision I. Chap. 9: God's Past Dealings with Israel in Electing Grace. Subdivision II. Chap 10: God's Present Dealings with Israel in Governmental Discipline. Subdivision III. Chap.11: God's Future Dealings with Israel in Fulfillment of the Prophetic Scriptures." A little wordy( the fact that so many were new words, developed so that His Word fit in with our doctrine is what really bothered/bothers me), I thought, so I just skimmed the outline. Then we get to the part that runs good people out of seminaries: "I would earnestly press upon the student the importance of committing to memory, if possible, this outline ... before attempting the study of the letter itself." Not getting an overview "firmly fixed in the mind leaves the door open for false interpretations and confused views later on.( "Make sure you know what mans' doctrine is before you try to figure out God's Truth" is another way of putting it. [I keep going back to Matthew 15:9 and Mark 7:7, where Jesus was teaching about the people of the world, that "in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.")" Okay. No big deal. We know God is not the author of confusion; the Bible tells us so. And the big picture is a view I have all along advocated. My big picture: if we read the Bible, as preachers and commentators and such would have us read it, we would read some of Paul's epistles as though they were written to us (the chosen, the saved, the called whose names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life[ we like to say]) and others as though written to them (the unsaved, the heathen, the called but not chosen); reading it as I would have us read it, we would consider the Bible, and each book, and each chapter, and each verse, for the truths in it relevant to us who hope (Romans 8:24 says "we are saved by hope:"; John 1:12 says "as many as received [Jesus], to them gave he power to become the sons of God", hence, we have the hope of making use that power) we are chosen and called; we would judge ourselves (and find ourselves wanting) and not be judgmental toward others as we read. The extent to which we rationalize our situation in order to feel good about it can be seen in the manner in which we actually twist the truth to suit ourselves. Ironside writes: "The ('saved') person ... knows the law (e.g., The Sermon on the Mount[see reference in 'A(nother) Sunday School Lesson']) is good. He wants to keep it, and slowly (begins to 'understand') that it is not really himself. . . who fails. It is sin, dwelling in him, which is exercising control."(page 90) Ironside continues on page 92: "If I am addressing any believer who is even now in...this terrific struggle...let me urge you to...acknowledge the impossibility (of winning)." Give up your body to the devil; that's okay, is what Ironside says. Forget that it's the temple of the Holy Spirit. Don't worry about it. Just believe. Quality don't count. He actually calls concern with sin "self-occupation". Quit fighting, he says. "Do not fight with it. It will overthrow you every time." As that paragraph on page 93 continues, he violates the Lord's truth again, suggesting instead to believe exactly what the devil wants you to believe: "Turn away from it; cease from (the fight) altogether." God's Truth, turning from serving the flesh instead of yielding to it, results in the wonderful yoke of grace and truth which Jesus brought to us: Take no thought for the morrow, you can't serve God and money, love thy neighbor (the world is getting to be a smaller neighborhood every day) as thyself.

. . . . . Now I'm not saying everybody should quit their job; I'm just saying let's agree to stop the insanity. Let's try to obey all the law, which Jesus said he was coming to fulfill. Let's quit our crazy ideas about progress and I me me mine, at least until everybody's getting fed every day. Idea: Let's pass a law in Congress that all people and businesses and organizations (churches, charities, the whole ball o' wax) donate ten percent of gross income to what we could call the God Fund. We could vote on administrator of the fund. Billy Graham would make a great one, methinks, if he'd agree to the job. Actually anybody could do it if we let it be a computer committee to vote on a line-item basis; everybody could vote on current issues at the same time, rotating to ease the time differences around the world. Dream a little dream?

. . . . . I did want to report a rather strange occurrence of yesterday. Our screen savior :-) has I think some 350 verses which must randomly go on the screen when in save mode; I had seen them all I thought (sometimes I just sit and scroll) but yesterday Mary commented on the verse on the screen: Ezra 8:22, which says in part, "The hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek him; but his power and his wrath is against all them that forsake him." (Check these out as witness that things in our universe are not as they appear to a cursory examination: John 7:7 "The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil" and Luke 6:26 "Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you!") We shouldn't presume to know Him, but we certainly should diligently seek to serve Him, in spirit and in truth. God's truth.

February 1*********************************************************************

. . . . . Today our Bible reading was, yes (if you've been following), Ezekiel 14 & 15. We try to read two chapters a day; sometimes I stop with one, and there are the occasional lapses. We've failed to get our (Baptist) Open Window for this quarter and In Touch didn't send us a February devotion guide, so today we used a guide from 1986. Interestingly, both the guide and the devotion in Morning and Evening referenced Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. This, you might recall, was the second most popular book on the American frontier way back when. (Behind The Bible, of course.) I'm just not a big fan of the book, personally; I think because it kind of talks down to readers in my estimation. I recently heard that one can read the Bible through in a year by reading three chapters a day weekdays, and five chapters per on weekends. I think the guides which give daily readings from the Old & New Testaments probably spread the reading more evenly over the course of a year, but make it more difficult to keep the process underway when you get behind. (QuickVerse 4 has a great upgrade to facilitate readings of this type; it strikes me as powerful and flexible [and not even an endorsement deal behind that plug].)

. . . . . I'm considering sharply curtailing my journal activities. There's so much data I don't have that it's difficult to intelligently converse with the world, if you will. I try, when I pray, to be open to the universe and, especially, the love of God. When I sit at ye old computor I try to be the same way. When I'm walking down the street I try to be the same way. My sense of things is the universe changes, from moment to moment. What our goal should be is to stabilize it. (The conundrum to me is that in order to stabilize things, we must change things drastically.) "Why stand we here in jeopardy?" Paul asked somewhere. At some point, people who don't want to get with the program must be dealt with. (Actually now I fear Jesus' prophecy in Luke 21:22[ specifically] will be God dealing with those people, who are us.) Maybe the start of the next century would be a good point. (I'm tempted here to get into a explanation of where I was/am coming from reminiscent of Paul; maybe later.) Maybe there should be some discussion about whether the century begins January 1, 2000 or January 1, 2001.

. . . . . The spiritual violence I see inflicted on masses huddled around the world is a continual source of grief for me. That much of this violence could be abated simply by renouncing greed does nothing to assuage this grief; in fact, it makes it worse. Common sense means two different things to two different groups of people. If the truth isn't enough to produce change in people, alternative methods must be examined. ("They shall go out from one fire [what if there's a righteous man among us who at least kept God's fiery hand stretched out?], and another fire shall devour them," the seventh verse of the fifteenth chapter of Ezekiel read to day.)

. . . . . Like I said, there's just too much I don't know for me to intelligently discuss the situation. (Yet I continued; and this remains the single most distressing aspect of my search for God's doctrine, i.e., the "alternative methods" mentioned in the above paragraph. [2014 note:  i'm still afraid Armageddon might be preferable to the end of the world which i'll call the Apocalypse]) I'm even beginning to not like mentioning our devotions for fear that people will read mysteries in enigmas and similar foolishness. I guess the thing to do is to keep talking about change until the people who oppose change start lying about their opposition. Perhaps that is happening now. Really though, if everybody is just saying that we need to change things, change should occur. So let's talk the talk, walk the (straight and narrow) walk, and watch and pray. Watch, so you'll know when you're being lied to, and pray that things get better, that reason prevails.

. . . . . (The following paragraph was posted in this color originally, for emphasis; I'm retaining it 'cause I want to. [2014 note:  i started doing edits in this color rather than saying they were edits]) The latest on welfare reform is that the states, who are being passed the welfare buck from Kongress, are already planning to pass the buck along to counties and municipalities. The Washington Post recently reported that localities are already making plans to low-bid welfare plans to keep poor people from moving there and, in fact, to encourage them to move out. That is precisely in line with a months-old report I saw which said that something like sixty out of seventy-five big cities surveyed were passing laws to discourage homeless people from sticking around. (This reminds me of maybe 1983, in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, when an Episcopal priest went to the city council and asked for a monthly stipend to buy transients bus tickets to Jackson.) Talk about oppression in the gates. (That was a reference to the many scriptures of the Old Testament addressing mostly society's needy.) I'm not a huge welfare advocate, but the rich just keep getting richer (2014 note: at the expense of the poor) and Jesus must be getting madder and madder.

February 2*********************************************************************

. . . . . I am reminded this morning of advice of the "great white father" to the Indian chief in "Little Big Man", as the white menace took away what had belonged to the Indians, including their way of life: "Endeavor to persevere." (Irony is much too small a word to use here.)

. . . . . As I ate breakfast for a solitary journey to (only) children's Sunday school, I opened the Bible. There are two pieces of paper in that one, both relatively meaningless regarding their placement. I opened to the one with I Chronicles 21:13 TLB on it: "Let me fall into the hands of the Lord rather than into the power of men, for God's mercies are very great." (A psychiatrist I used to see asked me once if I was "still paranoid"; I wanted to say, "I don't remember telling you I was paranoid." I'm serious.)

. . . . . I read (again) there at Isaiah 65:1 and continued through verse 6, where I was stopped by the phrase "it is written before me". I looked at the links (my favorite Bible-reading method is to read to the 'interesting' verses and then explore any available links to other verses) and read them: Psalm 31:19: How great is that "which (God) hath wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!", I Corinthians 2:9-10, Colossians 1:26-27: "...the mystery which hath been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest...", I Timothy 3:16: "...without controversy great is the mystery...", and Revelation 21:1-4: of particular note in this chapter was not the new heaven and earth John prophesied we might see but verse 8, which references the hypocritical unbelievers who "shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire...". Except for one reference, those words rang true, burning coals like they was written in my soul". (Obtuse Dylan reference at the end, or at least probably obscure, to most; amazing though, the things that make an impression on me, huh?)

. . . . . This might be the last entry. Adios.

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