A Journal: Chapter 9

November 11, 1998  ***************************

. . . . . "In the end it was all perception." When I recently came across this quote (in "Saints Rest", by Thomas Gifford) it struck me as a statement containing truth at many levels. How each of us individually perceive the world determines, to a great extent, how we react to "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune". And we can be certain that we all experience some 'outrageous fortune' at some point in our lives; Lao Tsu writes "Misfortune comes from having a body" and bodies by their very nature are transient things. Look at the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism.

. . . . . "In the end it was all perception." The publics' perception of Jesus determined His crucifixion; that this was a mob mentality manipulated mostly by the church leaders is neither here nor there. Gifford wrote of a man made famous by his actions leading to the American revolution: "What was it that made a man offer up his life . . . on the altar of public service only to become a defendant in a court where you always lost? Crazy."

. . . . . He continued: "Citizen Tom Paine was not so much a novel plotted in the familiar manner as a sustained linking of highly charged rhetorical flourishes tracing the contradictions of an unsavory man with a smoldering intellect and the purest social ideals, a writer and a revolutionary. 'He was the most hated__and perhaps by a few the most loved__man in all the world.' 'A mind that burned itself as few minds in all human history.' 'His thoughts and ideas were closer to those of the average working man than Jefferson's could ever be.' That was Paine as Fast portrayed him, savagely single-minded and unsociable, an epic, folkloric belligerent__unkempt, dirty, wearing a beggar's clothes, bearing a musket in the unruly streets of wartime Philadelphia, a bitter, caustic man, often drunk, frequenting brothels, hunted by assassins, and friendless. He did it all alone: 'My only friend is the revolution.' By the time I had finished the book, there seemed to me no way other than Paine's for a man to live and die if he was intent on demanding, in behalf of human freedom__demanding both from remote rulers and from the coarse mob__the transformation of society."

. . . . . "In the end it was all perception." My perception of the world in 1997 was based on unsubstantiated intuition, as I've hinted at elsewhere on this site, that the world not only was aware of the doctrine I began promulgating (and yes, evolving) in January of that year, but had whole-heartedly rejected it. The simple truth of that matter must remain that I feel myself to be a pariah, at least in certain circles. So be it. I mostly continue with my approach of many years when dealing with individuals or groups: I might hint at my beliefs but I really don't try to elucidate them to any degree.  (2014 note:  i've definitely changed about this, e.g. my letters to editors)

. . . . . I recently encountered on the Internet (somewhere__duhl) a very interesting essay on Martin Luther, who I know I've mentioned on this site. It really bothers me that I identified at all with him (as I did in the passage on Crazy Paine), but since it might cast some light on the dangers of ordinary mind (see A(nother) Sunday School Lesson) and certainly reflects the degree to which the world is averse to meaningful change of any sort, I'm including some passages from that essay:

. . . . . But he would not leave the position where God had placed him. He must continue faithfully to maintain the truth, notwithstanding the storms that were beating upon him. His language was: "I am like Jeremiah, a man of strife and contention; but the more their threats increase, the more my joy is multiplied. . . . They have already destroyed my honor and my reputation. One single thing remains; it is my wretched body: let them take it; they will thus shorten my life by a few hours. But as for my soul, they cannot take that. He who desires to proclaim the word of Christ to the world, must expect death at every moment."
. . . . . To the reproaches of his enemies who taunted him with the weakness of his cause, Luther answered: "Who knows if God has not chosen and called me, and if they ought not to fear that, by despising me, they despise God Himself? Moses was alone at the departure from Egypt; Elijah was alone in the reign of King Ahab; Isaiah alone in Jerusalem; Ezekiel alone in Babylon. . . . God never selected as a prophet either the high priest or any other great personage; but ordinarily He chose low and despised men, once even the shepherd Amos. In every age, the saints have had to reprove the great, kings, princes, priests, and wise men, at the peril of their lives. . . . I do not say that I am a prophet; but I say that they ought to fear precisely because I am alone and that they are many. I am sure of this, that the word of God is with me, and that it is not with them."
. . . . . "Every institution in which men are not unceasingly occupied with the word of God must become corrupt."(emphasis added)
. . . . . I think it was in an autobiography simply titled Martyn that he wrote:

. . . . . "I feel more and more every day how.difficult it is to lay aside the scruples which one has imbibed in childhood. Oh, how much pain it has caused me,.though I had the Scriptures on my side, to justify it to myself that I should dare to make a stand alone against the pope, and hold him forth as antichrist! What have the tribulations of my heart not been! How many times have I not asked myself with bitterness that question which was so frequent on the lips of the papists: 'Art thou alone wise? Can everyone else be mistaken? How will it be, if, after all, it is thyself who art wrong, and who art involving in thy error so many souls, who will then be eternally damned?' 'Twas so I fought with myself and with Satan, till Christ, by His own infallible word, fortified my heart against these doubts.'
. . . . . He who does all things according to the counsel of His will has been pleased to place men under various circumstances and to enjoin upon them duties peculiar to the times in which they live and the conditions under which they are placed. If they would prize the light given them, broader views of truth would be opened before them. But truth is no more desired by the majority today than it was by the papists who opposed Luther. There is the same disposition to accept the theories and traditions of men instead of the word of God as in former ages. Those who present the truth for this time should not expect to be received with greater favor than were earlier reformers.The great controversy between truth and error, between Christ and Satan, is to increase in intensity to the close of this world's history. Said Jesus to His disciples: "If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his Lord. If they have persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept My saying, they will keep yours also." John 15:19, 20. And on the other hand our Lord declared plainly: "Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets." Luke 6:26. The spirit of the world is no more in harmony with the spirit of Christ today than in earlier times,and those who preach the word of God in its purity will be received with no greater favor now than then. The forms of opposition to the truth may change, the enmity may be less open because it is more subtle; but the same antagonism still exists and will be manifested to the end of time.
. . . . . If they desire to use violence against me, and that is very probable (for it is not for their instruction that they order me to appear), I place the matter in the Lord's hands. He still lives and reigns who preserved the three young men in the burning fiery furnace. If He will not save me, my life is of little consequence. Let us only prevent the gospel from being exposed to the scorn of the wicked, and let us shed our blood for it, for fear they should triumph. It is not for me to decide whether my life or my death will contribute most to the salvation of all. .. . You may expect everything from me. . . except flight and recantation. Fly I cannot, and still less retract."

. . . . . And like I say, it's not so much that I identify with Luther and Paine, it's that my circumstances make it real easy to sympathize, even empathize with them. Surely the best way to learn the mind of Christ, say, is to try and see things the way He did. Of that offence, if indeed it is one, I am supremely guilty.

December 24, 1998  ***************************

. . . . . Perhaps the most important aspect of current Protestant doctrine is rooted in a huge contradiction: i.e., the fact that its emphasis is on faith, and the unknowable grace of God, yet all of its incredibly convoluted explanations for contradictions (such as the 'faith not works' of Paul and the 'faith without works is dead' of James) are rooted in logic. There is this huge straining of gnats and swallowing camels in what must be a feeble attempt at intellectual honesty. Perhaps we are approaching the day when the truth will come out.

. . . . . The extent to which man's doctrine perverts man's understanding of the Bible (as it came to English in the form of the King James Version) can be seen from examining a single verse I saw on a special tonight on the Family Channel. The translation used by the sponsoring Southern Baptist church was, of course, the New International Version. The verse in question was Luke 2:14, which in the KJV reads "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." The NIV reads "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

. . . . . Please gimme a break! (The next service had a scriptural reading from Isaiah 9: "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined." and never mentioned, perhaps refuse (present tense) to consider as appropriate for the church of this age the horrible warning in the first chapter of the Gospel of John, "And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not." Reminds me of that scripture I opened to in the dentist's office, Psalms 36:1: "The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes." Another one from Lao Tsu's opening words seems to be kind of what the gospel accounts of Jesus' words and actions try to impart to us: "Ever desireless, one can see the mystery. Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations."

. . . . . I realize that I haven't cited a lot of specific references to support my theory concerning the end of the world (see *), and I'd like to rectify that right now. Allow me a digression which I hope will become a segue: I first encountered the Tao Te Ching in the early '70s, and studied it until maybe 1984, when I gave away my only copy. I did not own another copy until this past year, but must have assimilated it to no small degree since I accurately quoted it several times in my first Sunday school lesson. This past Christmas I acquired my second copy of the Gia-Fu Feng/Jane English translation, and was struck with how more of the book was alive to me than during my earlier studies of it. One chapter/paragraph seems, in its entirety, to lend credence to my theories of origin and (desired) end of the world as we "know" it. Here it is:

Sixteen

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind become still.
The ten thousand things (us) rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.
The way of nature is unchanging.
Knowing constancy is insight.
Not knowing constancy leads to disaster.
Knowing constancy, the mind is open.
With an open mind, you will be openhearted.
Being openhearted, you will act royally.
Being royal, you will attain the divine.
Being divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away.

. . . . . Of course I also say of the end of the world that (in complete accord with Paul in 2 Thessalonians) "that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed", and of course I've maintained on this site (see * ) that ordinary mind is that "son of perdition". Garner Ted Armstrong lends credence to my theory when he writes (on the Internet @ http://www.gentle.org/jgsellers/): "Six is the number of man. Three is a number connoting ultimate finality. Thus, 666, or three 6s connotes utter carnality; that which is of MAN, and not of God." (Even Jesus appears to have been into numerology, e.g., when he told Peter in Matthew 22:18 that "I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.(seven being the "perfect number" of the times)"

January 2, 1999  *******************************

. . . . . Interestingly found a passage in a novel (The Big Bad City, by Ed McBain, p.73) which indicates I'm not the only one to at least consider that yesterday was caused by today. (My theory, you might recall, is that the origin of the universe was formed by the ordinary mind of people reading my posting on the universe recently <smile>.) Anyway, check this out: "'What I mean . . . ,' she says. 'Frank, do you ever feel that the past is determined by the present?' 'You've got that reversed, haven't you?' he says. 'Not at all.' 'You're saying the present determines . . . ?' 'Yes, the past. What we do today determines what already happened yesterday.' 'Are we about to get into a discussion of free will?' 'I hope not.' 'Determinism? Predestination?' 'That's not what . . . ' 'Double predestination? Calvinism? Am I back at the seminary? 'I'm not joking, Frank.' 'How can you seriously suggest that the future determines . . . ?' 'Not the future. The present.' 'In the past, Mary, the present is the future.' 'Yes, but I'm talking about now. The immediate present.'" Kind of wild, huh? Truth is no longer stranger than fiction, duh.

. . . . . Here's something from a mailing list (getreal-l-digest@mindshare.net) I receive via e-mail which strikes close to home (at least in my imagination <smile>):

. . . . . "MIT Professor Noam Chomsky makes the point that if you serve power, power rewards you with respectability. If you work to undermine power, whether by political analysis or moral critique, you are "reviled, imprisoned, driven into the desert."
. . . . . "It's as close to a historical truism as you can find," Chomsky says.

How about this gem from Nietzsche: "Madness is rare in individuals--but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule (Beyond Good and Evil,156)." And: "Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." (Human-all-too-Human, 483).

January 10, 1999  ******************************

. . . . . Heard in a sermon today titled "World Religions: Part 1" that "I could not understand Hinduism until I read 'Hinduism is more culture than creed.'" Judging (yeah, I know) from the rest of the sermon (Buddhism, this guy says, basically is eliminating "cravings" [the preacher really liked that word, but never linked it to coveting], so that you are "a vegetable" without emotions; yes, he actually said it, said Buddhists consider nirvana to be the absence of sorrow or joy, when actually it obviously is the presence of nothing but love [and yes, to give maybe the devil his due, it is a love without "cravings"].) I encourage no one to give this statement any credence whatsover, but even as he said it I thought to myself that there's a lesson here for enlightened beings, simply being that the essence of Christianity today is exactly that: more culture than creed.

. . . . . Acts 17:30-31 is a good example of how the writers of the scriptures managed to address their present and the future that is our present, at the same time indicating that the key to our reality is now: "And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent: Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead."

January 22, 1999  ***************************

. . . . . I just posted my second (would-be) Sunday school lesson the other day. Made a few changes (mostly additions), but haven't been able to access my site because of reported server upgrades. Maybe I'll try again now, and include this (would-be) chapter of my (would-be) journal.

. . . . . I just remembered, I intended to post kind of a follow-up to one of my very first postings to the 'Net, where my wife asked me exactly what I wanted. I said I wanted less, that others might have more, but perhaps that was too ambiguous, too obtuse, though believe me I would be happy to scale back my life-style if I was under the impression that people living now in abject poverty would have more. At any rate, there is something else: I, like T.S. Eliot, "have known the eyes, have known them all", and I would like for all communication about this web site and religion and poverty and power to remain just there, in the eyes. I would like for no one to say anything forever to me about who or what I am or might be. I would like to see more eyes actually not quite so in touch with this physical manifestation that is our universe, for I have surely seen them too, not just those trying to pin me sprawling to Eliot's proverbial wall. In short, I would like to be allowed to be just another brick in the wall (not at all that I won't keep trying to be selflessly loving and praying for miracles with every breath. No, I don't mean that, not at all). I would like to see some of the eyes change, a lot of them in fact. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to witness the world change too. I just don't want to hear about it. (2021 note:  i remember this, but i've changed)

Top of Page
To the Journal Contents
To the Table of Contents
To the S.A.F.E. Home Page