Another Unsolicited Commentary On a sermon

January 21, 2001

     Well jerry (falwell), you certainly piqued my interest
there, saying you were gonna have a sermon from Tim LaHaye on 
your show today.

     Yeah, I'm kind of a fan of his, having read prob'ly five
or six of his (and whats-his-name's) books in the Left Behind
series of novels about the end times. The most favorite thing
about them is that they are about such a thing, which just wasn't
considered in my world view and circle of people ya know. Now I 
see most people with their head in the sand about the prospect of
Jesus coming back and it honestly frightens me. Life and death, 
heaven and hell, you know, let's get with the program people.

     So it's gonna be good, i'm thinkin', to get a little insight
into man's doctrine about the end times. I really don't buy into
your concept of rapture you know. Sorry, i like bought into Santa
Claus when i was a kid ya know. (And I'm not saying i know what's 
gonna go down, huh. I'm just saying it's gonna be big and (the way
it looks now) the master ain't gonna be happy with the keepers of 
the yard dig? which means it's gonna be bad and that ain't good. Big 
and bad. (see my scriptural study of the Judgement here)

     Anyway, i'm open to reason, for real. No hard heart here, jer.
No stiff neck. No big ego. And i'm really not about what I'm not.
I'm about compassion for my fellow man. (some call me a commie, but
i'm a bleeding heart democrat who's so conservative he could pass for
a republican; have you read on my site [somewhere*] about Jesus being
a true conservative?) 

      "Come, let us reason together," huh? So the title of the sermon
I'm told is "The Second Coming of Jesus Christ" and this is really
what I'm trying to spend my prayer life (which I'm trying to make
constant; even when I'm writing this stuff and everything) on. And
like i say i'm willing to listen to reason.

     Of course it doesn't surprise me that tim opens with a sales
pitch for his books, slanting it so that he's excited about what the 
books are doing for Christian literature, like getting display in retail
outlets in particular. Of course, he adds, "the real story is the people
getting saved, people rededicating their lives" to Jesus. (And I'm so
sorry I didn't tape this, and I have trouble taking notes, but when I 
do put stuff in quotes it'll be close.) Yeah, no surprise about this
opening, and no bother.

     Back in Paul's time, they believed Jesus could come any day, tim says.
And "you live that day differently" when you believe that.

     Then we hear a story about a preacher friend using the books as tracts,
who sends out maybe ten cases ("And there are twenty books to a case.") of 
these Left Behind books and telling tim "that's the most expensive Gospel
tract I've ever used".     

. . ... . Then tim tells the story of a woman who has a real troubled teenage son, who reads one of the books and gets saved. "My seventeen-year-old son is now an evangelist," he says she said, "and he's saved twelve of his friends." And now the most curious and sad event of what was to me a very sad sermon indeed: tim curiously says "That's easy to understand__all his friends were sinners." (Reminds me I'd rather be a sinner than a Pharisee, 'cause Jesus was friends with the sinners, and He really was down on those church types ya know.) No tim, that's not so easy to understand. Not to me. How about explaining it to me, please. And while you're at it, tell me how it is that Paul says "There is none righteous, no, not one" and Jesus says "Why callest thou me good? There is none good but one, that is, God" and yet, after a Baptist gets saved, (s)he is a saint even if he robs and steals and even kills? That's current doctrine, I know it is, 'cause I've sat in the pews and listened to it often enough. You spoke of logic and reason today (and I record it here somewhere), but this just did not make sense to me before today and you gave me no reason, not one, to think let alone believe that it could be true.

     "One more story," tim says, and proceeds to tell a tale
of a lady who steals the book, "gets saved", returns the book,
and tells her story to the people she stole the book from.

     "I said one more," we hear; "I gotta tell you this one:" about
a lady who goes into a bookstore and asks for the latest John Grisham
novel and is told "by an unsaved clerk" she hears the Left Behind
books are boss. So the "unsaved woman" buys the book and gets saved
and "the unsaved woman who got saved loaned the book to an unsaved 
friend who got saved" and that woman loans it to another woman who
also gets saved. "I urge you to pray and use it as a tool," tim tells
us as we wait breathlessly for input about the end of the world and
time.

     Hallelujah! it's scripture time: 2 Peter 1:16-21 "For we have not 
followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power 
and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of his majesty.
For he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came 
such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in 
whom I am well pleased. And this voice which came from heaven we heard, 
when we were with him in the holy mount. We have also a more sure word of 
prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth 
in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:
Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private 
interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: 
but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost."

     The good news, tim, is that I too have heard the voice of God; the bad news is 
that He is not the God you preach about and teach about and pray to. Yeah, that's
His living word you're reading, but the key is that it's a living word and it has 
changed with time in terms of meaning and purpose. Yeah, I'm really the authority
(with a capital 't' actually) of the Bible. And voices. And ghosts. But you need
really to look around the site and read some to find out about these things 'cause
i'll admit i've been pretty obtuse for the most part. Until recently..  

     (At this point, if you have not read my sermon, i'm gonna ask that you read
just a paragraph or two about fables by clicking here.) I wonder elsewhere if 
anyone but Jesus heard the Voice at the Jordan, speculating some series of smaller 
signs might have convinced John He was the Messiah (including the dove landing on his shoulder, else why would John in Luke 7:19
send later to find out if He was the Messiah?). i mean, everywhere else the glory of God and angels shine in the Bible there is fear and trembling.  And yeah, honestly I'm kind of afraid
that i might be the two long-haired bearded guys who were probably shining with 
revelation, on the mountain that time in Matthew 17:3, partially because as it dawned
on me that this was happening i was certain it was what i was supposed to be doing,
so i kept doing it( one of those "herbs bearing seed" in Genesis 1:29; it really was
like the best food i knew for a long time).

     "You should highlight 'prophecy'," tim says, because it is not a fable,
it's way beyond that. "The holiest people were prophets," he adds, but doesn't
add what seems to me the critical mention that they were also loners and 
outcasts for the most part and, like Jesus pointed out in the context of His 
life, they are without honor in their own country. (Which of course is my
problem; people just don't want to admit that I'm "communicating the
revelations of God" [which is tim's definition of a prophet].)

an aside: (Isaiah 29:11-14 says [to people today in my book; please remember my
open mind reasoning here] "the vision of all is become unto you as the words of a book 
that is sealed, which men deliver to one that is learned, saying, Read this, I pray 
thee: and he saith, I cannot; for it is sealed: And the book is delivered to 
him that is not learned, saying, Read this, I pray thee: and he saith, I am not learned.
Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and 
with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear 
toward me is taught by the precept of men: Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do 
a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder: for the 
wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men 
shall be hid." Remember the people being astonished at Jesus' doctrine? Check out the 
references. Whence hath this man this wisdom?, they repeatedly asked. Check out this
allusion to man's doctrine here*.)

     So God reveals Himself to us; "He gives us logic and reason to base
our faith on, and just one reason is the fulfillment of prophecy," we hear.
Five hundred of one thousand prophecies found in the Bible have been fulfilled
literally, tim says. "Why not the next five hundred?" we are asked. That's it. (You go
tim; now you're really givin' us something to believe in, something to base
our faith on.[not!])

. . ... . Then we hear a long, rather unfocused story of Daniel revealing the vision of the king in Daniel 2, which still hasn't seen the "ten kings merge together" in a world government that will "only last seven years". (And I don't mean to be negative about your delivery, tim, only your message [or lack thereof], but i guess you're glad you got the writing gig going huh? And look, everybody, let's get something straight here: Tim LaHaye obviously has tried to do good for a real long time; i.e., he is a good man. What I'm really and truly scared of, for him, is that he's gonna stand in front of Jesus [and i know he thinks this isn't the judgment seat for life or death, but he didn't change my mind about that either; more in a bit] and Jesus is gonna say, like, "Depart from me, ye worker of iniquity; I know ye not." [and my reasons for believing this are all over this web site])

     After the seven years are up, "a rock strikes mans view of government, and
the rock fills the whole earth". Of course the rock is Jesus, tim says. (Don't
know if he's aware it might be this here stone [see here for what i'm talkin' 
about; sorry about being rather obtuse too].) Tim maintains that Jesus is
gonna rule on earth then for a thousand years, that "the coming of Christ and
His kingdom are entertwined".

     Now is when tim said, (not explained, just said), "We're gonna face Him (Jesus)  
at the judgment seat of Christ." No scripture reference. Nada. (In fact, 2 Peter and 
Daniel ["chapter 2"] were the only scripture references I heard.) He continues,
"not a judgment seat of eternal life__that's already settled by our being a part
of the rapture." And believe it or not, that was the first of only two references 
to the rapture by the co-author of Left Behind, a series of novels about the rapture 
and the second coming.

. . ... . I guess I need to pick at tim (and to you, Tim, like an earlier recipient of a sermon commentary, I'd like to apologize for the tone [strictly for effect] but not the content) for saying, at one point, "No one's ever seen Him(God), but we know He's here." I won't even mention John 14:9 (oops), but what about Moses on the Mount? Remember how transfixed he was, how he covered up his face? Exodus 24:10-11? Bunch of guys around What about Exodus 33:11, which starts "And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend"? Come on, tim, admit it: that was just a set-up for me wasn't it?

. . ... . Then he quotes Jesus saying "The gates of hell will not prevail against my church" and says (the second of two references to the rapture) "if we have called on Him, we will be taken up." Then tim mentions that "we're writing the twelfth book now."

. . ... . And, "since we're gonna rule and reign with Christ" for that thousand years, tim suggests giving jerry a big job, like director of communications or something. And I was wrong. That bit about sinners wasn't the most curious thing tim said; it was the next thing: Satan is gonna be bound for that thousand years and "he (satan) can't deceive the nations until the very end". I just can't make it all add up: It's the saved tim tells us are gonna be ruling then, and they've already received their rewards at the judgment seat (i suppose tim maintains along with other Baptists, though he didn't say [much of anything]) and are ruling the world as transformed beings (again i suppose). . . so how in the world can they be deceived by Satan at this point?

. . ... . Well, I guess we don't need to worry about that because next tim tells us that "after utopia, it just gets better: heaven!"

. . ... . "God has a magnificent plan," Tim adds, and the next thing is the second coming, which puts hope "in the hearts of the hopeless". Then tim tells a short story about a lost sinner who doesn't know he's hopeless, and that "we have hope in this life, but that hope is only based on one thing . . . those who know to call on the name of the Lord!" (This got a hearty "Amen!" from jerry.) Then he told another Left Behind story, spoke about the thief on the cross, and started winding up (before he got going in my book) with "the real issue is . . . whether you have invited Jesus into your life". Jesus is coming back with a shout (another reference to scripture) and everyone who is saved will be taken up (for a brief time, then everybody gets together back on earth for the judgment seat and a thousand years of utopia is tim's doctrine if i've got it straight; he just didn't talk much at all about it) and "Would that include you?"

. . ... . A digression on the end times doctrine of Baptists: I skimmed through this book i mention in my sermon (The Battle For God by Karen Armstrong) just for reference purposes and found that it was "On the basis of a chance remark of St. Paul's, who believed that Christians alive at the time of Christ's Second Coming would be 'taken up in the clouds . . . to meet the Lord in the air,'" the first preacher of premillennialism based his theory. (This of course is a good place to consider Jesus' contention that organized religion was grasping at straws, swallowing camels and straining gnats was how He put it [see SAFE's home page for ref] and review the wholly frightening contempt He displayed for man's doctrine and especially it seems to me for those who were successful at following it, at believing in it and being obedient to its dictates.)

. . ... . The author continues, "Premillennialism manifests that lust for certainty which is a reaction to a modernity that deliberately leaves questions open and denies the possibility of absolute." If i skimmed the right places, then mythos is kind of based on belief founded on mystery, which logos refuses to accept. From the book again, "The old myths were now seen as factual logoi, the only form of truth that many modern Western people could recognize." The belief among fundamental protestants today that The Bible is literal truth, "inerrant" to any and all degree(s), stems from these basic human needs (of ordinary mind).

. . ... . Then tim sadly had to run; i guess he's got a deadline. Then followed what was to me the most shameful merchandising effort in the history of televangilism. (At least, I hope it was.) jerry starts talking about $100 scholarships available today; a free $50 video; "last chance to enroll" and "attend Bible college without leaving your home". The Institute of Biblical Studies, i hear, is "based on introductory courses we teach right here at Liberty University". An "interesting and annointed" dude, who was voted by Liberty U students the "best professor" who is also "the most loved professor on the campus" conducts the studies and "anybody can complete it". "Believe me," jerry said, "this is a Bible studies program you can complete."

. . ... . "If you don't understand something," he continued, "just rewind the tape." You keep rewinding it and making the professor tell you over and over until you do understand it. And not only do you earn this diploma, "you can come here to Liberty university and receive your diploma from me personally." You don't have to pore over book after book, just plug in your vcr. (yeah, he really said this.) It was about here I checked the time and incredibly enough there was time for fifteen more minutes of this schlock. "The complete program, just $299." "You can keep this program in your home permanently." "Just $199 with scholarship!" You can do five easy credit card payments of $39.80. And, get this, there is "no additional charge for your spouse. . . You can graduate together and get two diplomas for the price of one.

. . ... . And look, jerry, i'm sure you think you're just doing your part to fulfill the Great Commission (see *) but dude! you need to do some reading and praying on my web site.
best wishes,

joel

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