A Journal: Chapter 20 (continued)

. . . . . Maybe I need to hit the streets. As in nowhere to lay my head. I don't know. I mean, I keep writing and I know a lot of it is of the alienation variety. I've commented on this before, my ability, no, my seeming to almost try to alienate especially those I should cultivate. And my only role model is God, whom we know to be no respecter of persons but presumably not one who alienated us, just gave us free will with the foreknowledge that we would alienate ourselves.

. . . . . Anyway, the reason I turned on my computer this morning (which reminded me maybe continuing to add to this site might only alienate [more?] people, which reminded me that the only way it's looking like I'll quit is if I remove myself further from the society of men [which realize at this point is mostly in my imagination, i.e., on the Internet]) was because I read in Sirach 19:20 that "The whole of wisdom is fear of the Lord, and in all wisdom there is the fulfillment of the law." I don't know why (lie lie) this would remind me of Jesus saying "I come not to destroy the law but to fulfill it." Maybe I wrote already about the guy asking me about Jesus, kind of generally to see where I stand I thought, didn't care if it was a test or not (which sometimes I do; maybe it's the narrow mind of many neighbors that compels [no, encourages] me to fail tests like I mention somewhere), and I said something about Jesus focusing so much on obedience to the spirit of the law that when He said "I am the way" etc., He meant that obedience to God, His way, is the way to eternal love.

. . . . . Wanted to add a couple of clarifications too. The whole Episcopal thing i wrote about boiled down to trav having enough influence to get the church to cover me if you will, though I think the reason selected was that I'm not competent. And hey, I think that long ago I passed the point of much caring what happens to me (lending some validity to their theory).

. . . . . Which leads to the clarification I really wanted to make. Stumbled on what I wrote about hating what Trent Lott stands for not too long ago, and this week on CNN Headline News I saw that pork-barrel politics is (still) what is happening on what we ameriKans (well, maybe Americans) like to call the Hill. It was a year or two ago that Trent bulled( should I say porked?) through a budget order for an extra billion or two to build a war ship (in his home town) that the Pentagon did not request (in their always padded budget request). I pointed out that this is putting his constituents (admittedly those he's working for) ahead of his country (the Pentagon not only didn't ask for the ship, it had to take operating expenses for the war wagon out of its planned budget when it might have much preferred to scale back on Navy maintenance say) which simply puts his constituents at risk.

. . . . . Big picture: What's not good for the country is not good for the state is not good for the city is not good for the people. A few "good" jobs for a few years at any expense? Pork barrel politics is me-first status-quo ordinary-mind at its worst. It doesn't even pretend to trust in God, it doesn't even pretend to be patriotic, it doesn't even pretend to be neighborly (if you don't count the you-scratch-my-back and I'll-scratch-yours "neighborly" attitude, which I don't think anyone will say is anything but Me First bowing down to Status Quo).

. . . . Hey, if the world is mean, let's back it in the corner and publish its meanness to the public; only the will of the people (i.e., public opinion, meaning you, dear reader[?]) can change this, because I've no doubt Trent is being obedient to that portion of the will of the rich people to which he pays attention (and these are people who really want him to be right about porkbarrels and such because their lifestyle [hey, their sense of security and more] depends on him and people of shall I say like mind[?] being right and me being wrong), and hopefully when he sees how deluded he has been by the grip of ordinary mind he will not remain in denial but step forward and try to lead the people in the right direction.

. . . . . It shows me just how far we are from where God wants us to be, and it reminds me of Pharaoh telling me he thinks somebody has dollar signs for pupils (which is another way of saying dark angel [which means he will always at least try to walk over me (despite my years and years and years of being non-judgmental and hopeful)], which is another way of saying enemy [which just means, as I've said recently I think and probably years ago too, somebody who refuses to esteem others better than themselves (which is the mind of Christ, the mind of a servant who loves others as he/she loves him/herself), somebody who is narrow-minded in the conformed-to-the-world sense (and maybe especially those who are thus and don't know it)], which is what I feel surrounded by [surrounded by friends too, but it is the enemy I must wrestle with and I've no doubt there's a tremendous concentration of judgmental, ordinary mind regarding me and my purpose in my vicinity say, which might be why I'm here, because I don't want to be out of their mind(s?), I want to overcome their evil (yes, evil, using naughty instead if you wish) with love unfeigned]).

. . . . . Seems one way to deal with dark angels (and admittedly I'm putting them in the best possible light if you will) is to change common sense, turn ordinary mind (though any angel, remember, has no mind) from materialism (which we know operates under the law of Rust Never Sleeps) to spiritualism (which we certainly can hope will allow humankind to prevail [and I think people are about to agree that mankind cannot and will not even endure the way we're going (i.e., you're always losing on the material plane)]). Because dark angels seem to be under the control of ordinary mind. And ordinary mind is mostly I think simply the will of the people.

. . . . . Wars and rumors of wars are the result of conflict of wills of course, so if we make one (admittedly huge) adjustment, maybe we can turn this thing around. Get back to where we started. Maybe we can go home again. But we might need every sentient being behind this (would-be) movement, so I fear we might need to feed and shelter everybody to get the momentum we need. In time, I feel compelled to add. In time to avoid that other possibility which looms so large right now. Today. Repent. Turn away from conventional wisdom. The kingdom of heaven, an unchanging now of only love, is at hand! Heaven seems to be within our grasp! Shouldn't we reach for it at least?

. . . . Do we owe hungry people our love and prayers and our support? I saw on Headline News the other day that nation # 1 in "lifestyle" is Norway, where the life expectancy is 79 years of age. The last nation on the list, Sierra Leone (the last five are African nations) has a life expectancy of 39 years. Diet might play a larger part in this, this abomination than any of us care to admit.

. . . . . Here was part of my computer Bible reading the other day (and no, if anybody is wondering, I guess I haven't kept up with it for the four years I've had it on my computer [though I endeavor to persevere]):

(Isa 8:9-13) Associate yourselves, O ye people, and ye shall be broken in pieces; and give ear, all ye of far countries: gird yourselves, and ye shall be broken in pieces; gird yourselves, and ye shall be broken in pieces.
Take counsel together, and it shall come to nought; speak the word, and it shall not stand: for God is with us.
For the LORD spake thus to me with a strong hand, and instructed me that I should not walk in the way of this people, saying,
Say ye not, A confederacy, to all them to whom this people shall say, A confederacy; neither fear ye their fear, nor be afraid.
Sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.

A little background: I've kind of been down with the fact that people are interested in me for a long, long time. I mean, I was in Michigan the summer the Tigers won the World Series. It was a free ride I didn't realize at the time, but then, I had not informed my friends in the music industry about the Series victory yet. I mean, nobody knew the outcome except the people privy to the info I provided from the future. Is there anyone reading this who doesn't realize Joe Namath believed me (well, more correctly, believed whoever told him) when I "predicted" his victory in Super Bowl III? (2014 note:  this ramble is about my professed ability to astral travel to, e.g., a recording studio when a song was being recorded while i was reading a headline in a newpaper about who won the Super Bowl that year)

. . . . . Anyway, when I started this site in '97, I predicated it on this movement (I called it) which I'd played a part in organizing. One of the first things I said to the group via the Internet was "don't get any bigger". Ain't that/this wild? Let me tell you, '97 was a wilder year than some might realize.

. . . . . But I digress. Misdirection was the watchword for the movement. Is the watchword I might should say. And yeah, the flip side is there is no movement. At my direction you might say. Because this is the way I've been directed. You see? There is no confederacy. I'm not in control. It's gonna be angels selecting the elect and the lost on the last day.  According to me and the Bible. (When the anti-confederacy, you know, the status quo folk, like discovered me in '97 there were people who did not believe I started anything.) Don't worry about the confederacy. Isaiah 8:12. And hey, early in '97 I was definitely touting the confederacy. Trying to use this movement that I wasn't sure still existed (because I tried to bankroll it, and then abandoned them; I mean, I dropped out of everything; basically considered myself a failure at best) because nothing seemed to have changed.

. . . . . Anyway, yeah, I tried to use the threat of a confederacy early in '97 and believed it to be out of my hands basically. I gave a little advice (well, tried to be like The Man and not just cheat in what I called 'economic warfare'[ really, I wrote it down in a notebook (economic warfare) that I probably still have; been meaning to post my "directive" I wrote listening to Al Green just for a laugh]) but left the decisions up to whoever was on the committee (or whoever was The Big Boss Man for me [though perhaps I should say Man of the Movement because I've never been into 'yes men']). Yeah, when I wrote Ted Kennedy in '97 and told him it might be out of my hands it was absolutely nothing but the truth as I saw it. Understandably huh? And understand, from the very start of my journey I've dealt with dead people walking. Angels. No lie.

. . . . . You Never Know Who Your Friends Are. There's an Al Kooper album by that name which came out in the '60s I believe. (And yeah, if you're wondering about the Fab Four[ moptops maybe] I was there in the early '60s. But that was in the '70s and later.) I've kind of lived by that since then. Angels and dead people. Every now and then, a live one. It's people who will not buy into "the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand" doctrine (which includes the dreaded reality that God wants to take from those who have too much [read "fat lifestyle" and "more than needed" in particular] to feed and shelter those who don't have enough) who actually are trying to condemn everybody in the world to death by not participating in the SAFE program but instead choosing to help (voluntarily and/or knowingly or not) bring about the secondary vision of God rising up to "shake terribly the earth".

. . . . . Anyway, reading Isaiah 8 the other day I kind of wondered about it, so I like meditated as the Maharishi said, and I realized that I'm supposed to tell everybody that the movement is big, and nobody who's really a part of it will admit it. Period. Associate yourselves, gird yourselves, take counsel together (against me say, or this [would-be] movement) and it will come to naught. You never know who your friends are. (And hey, I'm not kidding; I don't know what I'm gonna say tomorrow, but don't be surprised if there's somebody who does know.) Food for thought: Remember ZZ Top? Remember that hit of their's (way back when) "Nationwide"? Well, that was a subtle message to me. Nationwide. Of course this is just talk. Not membership. If you aren't in the movement, don't worry about the confederacy, but you better get a little fear of the Lord in your heart. Read Isaiah 8 again: "Let Him be your dread." One thing's for sure: if there is a movement, it's His. (And "Return is the motion of the Tao.")

July 12 **************************

. . . . . Below is the start of my computer-directed Bible reading for today:

. . . . . I'm kind of thinking/hoping/praying this image indicates God's intention (via the vehicle of public opinion, changed priorities) to remove the poor from the affliction of the system, to not turn away needy people and make them ashamed for being needy, simply by seeing that everybody gets fed and sheltered. Makes me feel good to read "The righteous shall see it, and rejoice" (that some of the needless suffering will be alleviated) and "all iniquity shall stop her mouth" (people sold out to ordinary mind will quit raging (see Psalms 2:1 [quoted in Acts 4]) about how stupid/crazy/evil the status quo is).

. . . . . Reminds me of one of my long- long-time favorite unfulfilled prophecies: "All that watch for iniquity (will be) cut off." Any ideas why I might like that verse? Just raise your hand. By the way, that comes from Isaiah 29 (as well as "Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid" and "your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed" [emphasis added]), and I'm gonna put what my Bible screen looked like following my search (for "iniquity AND cut off") just below here, adjusted so the whole note shows:

. . . . . Yeah, my biggest fear at the moment I guess is that when Paul said "to be carnally minded is death" it was ordinary mind he was referring to, that the way we're traveling is toward death, and when he said (in that great chapter 1 Corinthians 15) that "he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet (and) the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death" he was talking about me needing to continue wrestling with ordinary mind until it's dead.

. . . . . One more time, from Sirach: The whole of wisdom is fear of the Lord, and in all wisdom there is the fulfillment of the law. (And at the risk of continued repetition [for those who continue to hope that the law is irrelevant, that we are in the dispensation of grace (here's a bit on grace)] Jesus said: Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. [emphasis mine] i.e., Jesus is again telling us to be obedient to the spirit of the law.) One more time, from Jesus: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

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